Hi, my beautiful 2nd son, Dan has OMA - we do not not what type yet. He is now 18 months old, and can walk a bit like he's on the deck of a ship in a storm - as long as he is holding my hand, or pushing a trolley. He is starting to try and form words, and uses gestures and specific sounds to ask for things. He is very eloquent with his gestures. Garry, my husband has already been on this site, but I have only just gained access to a computer - and email. Garry is very analytical about the situation (he is a scientist after all), however I am a lot more emotional, and sometimes find myself in tears if I dwell on it too long. I know that this is unhelpful and ridiculous, because from what I'm led to believe Dan is likely to grow out of this, and there seem to be a lot more extreme cases around than Dan's. However, he is sooo beautiful, and I stare at him sometimes when he's sleeping and just think - what did I do when I was pregnant to make this happen? Did I not take enough folate? Was that one wine at a couple of different parties, over several months too much? Perhaps if I hadn't jumped that stack of shelves on the floor at work, and fallen it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if I hadn't dyed my hair blonde the week before I found out I was pregnant - could the bleach chemicals have affected him? A thousand ways to blame myself - and none of them useful, or a help - but are there any of you (who seem all to be just getting on with the task of helping your children through their lives, in such great ways) who feel or felt the way I sometimes do now? I needed to get this off my chest, and I do not normally indulge in this much self pity, so I do not understand why these feelings keep resurfacing when I think I have faced them down .... but there it is. I had meant to introduce myself as a matter of fact and intelligent women - but the emotional me always seems to escape when I talk on this matter, so that is how it is.

- Cynthia